Breathe
by Crystals of Crimson
Summary: It had been two months since that fatal night, two months since I was able to see his angelic face. Two months since he left. Now, as school starts, I find myself coming face to face with the only reason that my heart and mind had been living in denial.
1. Him

** I do not own Twilight or the characters. The beautiful and brilliant SM does.**

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Chapter one: Him

_Please, please, forgive me_

_But I won`t be home again_

_Maybe someday you`ll look up_

_And barely conscious you`ll say to no one;_

_'Isn`t something missing?'_

The song sustained to lull my sanity. The hauntingly sad song relaxed me, took all my stress away, and most importantly; prevented my thoughts from travelling to _him_.

It had been two months since `the incident' happened. I called it `the incident' because it was so momentous, it had fatally scarred my life. I tried very hard not to think about it, but I always failed. I had discovered new obsessions weeks ago. My newly found strategy always helped me when my thoughts trailed to that ghastly night.

I heard a moderate knock on the door to my room. I called back a quite `come in' and they entered the room. I heard Charlie`s feet shuffle against the hardwood floor below his feet. He was obviously trying to come up with a way to talk to me. I sighed and pressed the stop button on top of my loud speaker.

I turned my torso around slightly, enough to see Charlie fidget. "Yes?" I asked him in a calm voice.

"Bella-"

"It`s Isabella." I corrected him with a snarl. I saw him flinch from the corner of my eye, but he composed himself before continuing.

"Isabella, well, I wanted to talk to ya`." He said nervously.

I furrowed my brows. "About what?" I asked. I rotated my body so I was facing him. He was still dressed in his pajamas. He kept on moving his feet different directions nervously.

He ran a hand through his hair. "School is startin` tomorrow and-"

"School?" I interrupted him again. He nodded. I groaned inwardly. In truth, I had forgotten that school was starting tomorrow with all that was going on in my head and now that I was reminded, I was most definitely dreading it.

"Yeah, school is startin` tomorrow, you didn` forget, did ya`?" he asked.

"No." I lied.

"Well, since school starts tomorrow, I wanted to give ya` a gift."

I stared at him with a surprised expression. He smiled timidly at me before gesturing with his hand to follow him. I complied without a complaint. Charlie led me downstairs and outside of our house. And then I saw it, a truck.

It was an elderly, red and corroded truck. I inspected it for awhile and sighed when I took in the dull dents in some places. It wasn`t fancy or anything, but it would do.

"I got it from an old friend in the res, um… you don`t have, to have it if you don`t want to…" Charlie said a bit anxiously. I forced a small smiled towards him.

"It`s fine, dad. It`ll do." I reassured him. He let out a sigh of relief and grinned down at me.

"Thanks, Bell-Isabella." He quickly corrected himself with a tense look painted on his face. I felt a jolt of quilt spread throughout my heart. Charlie deserved the right to call me by my much preferred name. I would regret it later, but now, it was the only thing I could do.

"You know what, dad?" I asked him. He had a panicked look on his face. "No more, Isabella. Call me Bella."

His grin was practically glowing, it radiated the things surrounding us, and it even affected me. I dropped the grin immediately and forced it into a frown. Charlie`s expression quickly changed.

"You don`t-"he began.

"No, its okay. Call me, Bella." I forced a grin and headed inside.

**The next day...**

1st period- English II- Mr. Detroit

2nd period- Calculus- Mrs. Thomas

3rd period- Geography- Ms. Garth

4th period- World History- Mr. Grace

5th period- Lunch

6th period- Biology- Mr. Banner

7th period- Gym- Coach Clapp and Coach Maxwell

8th period- Study Hall

I bit my lip as I went over my schedule. I glanced down at my wrist watch, noting there were only several minutes before first period. I quickly shoved my schedule in my book bag, taking out my map. I followed the effortless trail to Mr. Detroit`s room. I placed my hand gently down on the door handle and turned the knob. Almost instantly, all the noise that had once exposed the room was now disposed of. I could feel everyone's gaze burning on the side of my face as I strode over to the bald man sitting at his desk in the front of the room.

I told him my name and handed him the slip that red- haired lady at the front of the office had told me to give to every teacher of my every period. He quickly signed my slip and smiled lightly at me before motioning me to a seat beside a curly brunette who practically had her boobs hanging out of her shirt.

I rolled my eyes and groaned silently as I made my way towards her. As I sat down next to her, she gave me a sharp look before roaming her eyes up and down my body. She met my eyes then, un-impressed.

You must be that plain, boring Bella girl everybody seems to be talking about all the time." She said self-satisfied. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I am exactly her. It`s good to know at least someone appreciates my dullness." I retorted. She smiled smugly at me and nodded.

This was going to be a long day…

I sighed in tiredness as I sauntered towards Biology. So far, my day couldn`t have gotten any worse. I had been assault by skanks harassing me half of the day, making funof me; I was almost on the verge of tears. But I hadn`t allowed myself to cry, knowing if I did, they would be satisfied with their work.

I entered Biology then, and gave the teacher, Mr. Banner, my slip. He signed it hurriedly without as much of a glance my way and directed me over to an empty seat next to him.

My breath caught in my throat. The boy- no man, who was sitting there was him. He looked exactly like him. The same shade of an outlandish bronze. The same perfect features, everything. Except, this man looked more… paler and, bloodcurdling? He gazed up at me with coal black eyes full of hatred. I started feeling lightheaded for the lack of air in my system. I took a deep, cooling breath, before walking amble his way, even though I was not.

I avoided his piercing gaze as I sat down. I settled my books in front of me and hunched my shoulders. I sneaked a peek out of the corner of my eye, only to be met with the same black ones. I blushed immediately and made a curtain with my hair between us.

As Mr. Banner began his lesson, my thoughts wandered off… _This guy was utterly familiar… he almost looks like E- no, don`t say his name, Bella, just don`t._

But it was already too late, once his name got stuck in my mind, a single tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly disposed of the tear with the back of my hand and sniffled. I heard the chair beside me move slightly, I looked over to see him staring at me.

He had a confused look on is face mixed with anger and antagonism. He went rigid and he drew in a deep breath through his nose, his eyes closing in the process. He was a roman masterpiece. He was beautiful…

He opened his eyes then and glared at me, _if looks could kill_, would be the right phrase to say right about now. He leaned in closer and my heart rate picked up, _was he going to kiss me?_ Then, his fist palming the edge of the lab table violently, it seemed like he was about to break it, he leaned back and turned his attention to front of the classroom.

I stared at him for awhile longer in bewilderment before turning to my notebook. I began absent-mindedly doodling on the front cover.

Why was he so mean to me? What did I do? Oh, wait, I know the question to that, I always manage to do something, even if it was unconditionally ingenuous. I am a mess… I always ruin a great day…

I felt the tear rise again at the corner of my eyes. I struggled to keep my composure leveled, not wanting to seem fragile.

By the end of class, the guy next to me, who had taken a quite influential hate on me, fled out of the classroom, it was almost inhumanly. I gasped, shocked at the impact, a strong swoosh of air sheltered my nose. I inhaled it, and was intoxicated. The scent was like honey and lilac and a sunset on a summer's day. I shook my head and grabbed my books and headed to my 7th period class.

Gym… Ugh, no!

I positioned my book bag against the living room couch. I staggered to the kitchen and began cooking dinner. Charlie would be home in a few solid hours and I wanted to leave him something to good to eat to probably dismiss any thoughts of school. But I guess I was wrong once he arrived…

"So, how was school today?" Charlie asked as he took another bite out of his lasagna.

"Good." I responded timidly. He raised an eyebrow and stared at me, unconvinced.

"You sure?" he pressed.

"Yes, it was fine." I lied, separating my lasagna with my fork. "So how was day at work?" I asked him.

"It was okay." He said with his mouthful.

"Hmm…" I hummed. "I… uh…I`m going to do my homework." I stood up with my plate and cleared all the remaining food off and into the trashcan. Charlie gave me an unsure look before nodding hesitantly. I walked casually upstairs and all but flew to my room once I was out of Charlie1s watchful eye.

I didn`t have to do my homework because I had already done it before Charlie had arrived from work. So instead, I climbed into my bed and began going through my thoughts. Forks high was okay… it had it's here and there like any other school would, and definitely enough sluts to go around town.

But once my thoughts travelled to biology and him, I didn`t even know his name, yet he was so familiar and looking at his face just made me want to drop to my knees and cry like a five year old does when they don`t get what they want, whining and everything. I felt an overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around his frame and squeeze him to death… that is, if he doesn`t kill me first.

I didn`t know why I was having these kind of thoughts of him possibly tracking me down and killing me, but they way he stared at me, made my stomach turn and the blood within me to turn cold as ever. I shivered and shook my head.

Finally, I had decided, I would confront him, without any interruptions. I felt the boldness seep throughout my body as I premeditated my decision. I stood up off of my bed and looked out my window. It was dark already, the moon illuminating the sky above. I headed back downstairs, to a relaxed Charlie watching the game.

He turned his head slightly enough to look at me. "I`m going out." I said, grabbing my coat from the coat hanger and pulling it on.

"Well, don`t be out late, ya` got school tomorrow." He said worriedly. I nodded once and made my way out.

I instantly relaxed when the shallow wind hit my face. I sighed and began walking towards my destination. Once I was there, I opened the gate slowly and entered. I found the one I was looking for and kneeled down before the beautiful stone.

_Edward Anthony Masen_

_A devoted son and friend _

_We will always remember you_

_1991 – 2009_

A tear rolled down my cheek as I read the words. I would miss my first best friends, my guardian, and most importantly of all, my first love.

I sobbed loudly and slid to the ground next to the stone, the tears running freely now. I stayed there for two hours and hopped up onto my feet when I saw it was already eleven. I placed a kiss to my palm and pressed it to the stone, with one last glance at it, I left.

_Edward Masen… _

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**So there! The first chapter of the new story of the newbie author wannabe!**

**Hope you all like and please, review!**


	2. Confrontations

**I do not own Twilight or the characters. The beautiful and brilliant SM does.**

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Chapter two: Confrontations

I entered my sixth period class and was immediately disappointed when I didn`t see my lab partner anywhere. I frowned and took my seat.

_He`s probably running late**. **_I considered in my head. I bit my lip in anxiousness as I waited for him to walk through that door any possible minute. When Mr. Banner started to begin class, my heart sank as I determined that he wasn`t going to show up today. I sighed, understanding that my plan was left out for tomorrow.

The next day… it was in the same order as it was as yesterday. He didn`t come to school today either. My curiosity strived up as he continuously began being absent for the majority of the week. Hell, for all I would know, he probably moved or something.

Then on Monday, as I entered Biology, he was there. My breath caught as my eyes inspected his beautiful form. He was wearing a white short sleeved shirt, showing me a perfect view of his muscular forearms. I bit my lip and walked over to him casually, plopped my things on top of the lab table and took my seat behind me.

I started drawing animations on my notebook when I heard it. It was so musical and soft, like velvet. I literally melted into the sound. It was like a lullaby.

"I`m Edward Cullen." The voice spoke. I gasped, and turned my head to the god beside me. I looked up into the strangest yet beautiful pair of golden eyes; so unlike what I had witnessed last week. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, diminishing the thought. "Yes, sorry, I spaced out. What?" I asked, stupidly, a blush coloring my cheeks.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior last week and introduce myself properly. I`m Edward Cullen." He declared. "You must be Isabella, am I correct?"

_Edward…_

I shook my head again. "Yes, um, you are. How did you know my name?" I blurted out without thinking.

He stared at me incredulously "Everybody in this small gloomy town is most likely to know the new resident, whom is the daughter of the Chief of police." He raised an eyebrow. My heart sped.

"Yeah, how stupid of me." I laughed nervously. "Why are you talking to me now?"

He shrugged. "I… felt, bad."

Of course he would, that would be the only reason a god like him would talk to me; out of pity, like he felt obligated to do so. "You didn`t have to though, if you didn`t want." I stated.

He shrugged and glared at me. "Can we just listen to Mr. Banner before you really make me regret ever even speaking a word to you?" he snapped. I flinched, which hadn`t got unnoticed. He continued to glare at me until I faced the front of the class and focused on the teacher.

"Today we will be leaning about the phrases of mitoses…" Mr. Banner trailed off, although, my thoughts focused on something else.

_Why was he so mean to me? What did I do? I was just simply reassuring him on… oh god, my life it messed up!_ I groaned softly, placing my hands at either side of my head and squeezing gently. I was so confused and mad. Ugh!

I could already feel the tears start at the corner of my eyes. Ugh! What the hell was this boy's problem? Why was he making me cry so damn much? God, dammit! I bit my lip as the tears rolled down my cheeks and to my jaw; I was starting to get a headache. No! I scrubbed the tears away with my hand quickly and raised my hand. I quickly caught Mr. Banner`s attention.

"Ms. Swan is there something wrong?" he asked, kindly, obvious to the tears filling my eyes.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I smashed my lips together as my stomach turned.

Approximately, he noticed and nodded is head roughly. "Do you want someone to accompany you?"

"No thank you." I left the classroom without a pass and ran to the girl's bathroom. I dashed inside a stall and threw up in the toilet. I flushed the toilet and sobbed as the tears ran. I washed my mouth with water from the sink once I was out of the stall and washed my face once the tears ceased.

I had no idea that a person could possibly hate me so strongly after a few words said to them. This wasn`t how I planned to confront him, heck! I didn`t even expect him to ever show up to school again. But, regardless of my behavior, I was going to confront him, now was my chance, and I wasn`t going to let him ruin in it.

I held my guard up and strode out of the bathroom, head held high up. I marched into Biology just as the bell rang for 7th period. I grabbed my things, glad that Edward was still placing his books in his bag.

Once everyone was out of the classroom, I faced him. "What is your problem?"

He glared at me. "What do you mean `what is my problem?' I don`t need a small little girl to ask something that is far from her business." He snapped.

"Yes, it is my business. Ever since the day I started school, you have acted like a total douche bag towards me! What did I do to make you despise me so much?'

"You really want to know what my problem is?" he asked. I nodded, furiously. "You! You are my problem! Ever since you came here my life has turned into a living HELL! I wished, the whole time last week that you were just a figment of my imagination, which you would just go back to where you came from. But now as I can see, you are not a figment, no, you are far worse than that, you are a fiend, sent from hell to make my life slowly roll downhill." He admitted. I stared at him in shock; tears once again fell out of my eyes as I stared at him.

He walked past me, leaving the room silently. I gasped lightly and clutched my chest. It felt like someone had just stabbed me in the chest repeatedly. I flew out of school, leaving my things behind me without a care, and into the cool air of Forks. I stopped abruptly as I stared at my truck across the lot. I didn`t want to go home, no I didn`t. I wanted to be alone, where nobody could see me break down into a big wuss. I ran to my truck, swung the door open, and got in, started the engine and drove off.

I drove off the road and into the forest. Not far in the journey, I found myself pulling up in front of a meadow. I hopped out of my truck and walked over to it leisurely. It was truly beautiful, despite the low-lying grass, it was magnificent. There were flowers lying on the moist grass, almost everywhere.

I sat down in the middle of the meadow just as the sun shimmered down on me. It was like the first time seeing the sun, which, it was in an uncanny way, due to my personal issues. I sighed and enfolded my arms around my bents knees and cried, because really, it was the only thing I could muster in my broken state. I had no idea how a person could affect me like Edward did, well, except for… him. But, Edward, he was like a missing piece of a puzzle. He reacted so badly towards me the first day for no reason at all. I mean, I could understand if he wanted to keep the lab table to himself, if that was his problem before, but his confession today just broke my heart into pieces, again.

Now, thinking back to those loathsome words he spat at me, made me feel useless. It made me feel like I was nothing, like I didn`t deserve to be alive. I even found myself wishing my parents had never conceived me, knowing life would be far better without me here.

I stayed there, watching as the sky slowly turned in a dark sky. I knew I should have been getting up to go home, but I didn`t have the heart to move an inch.

I felt my eyes drop and body fall limp to the ground below me as drifted off to sleep, after all that has happened this blustery day…

"…Charlie..." I felt two strong arms wrap around me. One lifting me legs off the floor and another lifting my back, I should have panicked, but I didn`t have the strength to. The wind flowing around I and the stranger suddenly turned stronger as if we were running.

Soon after, we stopped and I heard two hastily footsteps running towards me.

"Bella," It was Charlie`s voice. He sounded scared. I forced my eyes to open but failed. I felt a warm hand lightly touch my arm. "I`ll take her from here, Jake." Then I was being shifted into the arms of my father. I snuggled into his chest, my eyes still closed, and drifted off to sleep once again, where I could forget about all my worries.

The dim light glimmered through the thin lacy yellow curtain of my bedroom. I felt stressed. My body was painfully rigid as I sat up in bed, my bones cracking in the process. My cheeks felt hot, like I`d just been burned; and they felt rough beneath my fingertips as I stroked it. I sighed and unfocusedly stood up from bed, but quickly fell down towards the floor. I landed flat on my face, groaning as I stood right back up, I headed downstairs.

Charlie was seated by the dining room table while reading the paper and sipping a mug full of coffee. He noticed my presence as soon as I slipped down on the first step. He hustled over to help me up, worriedly saying something about being careful.

"Thanks." I said as he helped me walk over to the dining table, carefully sitting me down on the seat across from his.

"No problem, Bells. Are you alright?" he asked.

I scoffed. "Yeah, don`t worry. You disabled child can fend for herself, besides, I fell down upstairs too."

He shook his head. "No, I mean. _Are you alright_?" he articulated. I furrowed my brows in question. "Bella, you`ve been crying all night, complaining about… about…" he struggled to say.

"About who, Charlie? Who? Tell me." I pressed.

"Edward."

His name rolled off his lips testing to see if I would react. Suddenly, the room started spinning around me. It was like I could hear is voice after these two passing months. It was like he was right here with me; but the truth was, that no matter how much I hoped, how much I pleaded and cried. He was not there.

"_Bella."_

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